How to Survive a Remodel with Your Spouse

Are you married to a DIYer? A man who has to have a project to work on? Perhaps even MULTIPLE projects going on at one time?

You aren’t alone. I am too. If you are a couple who likes DIY projects and have kids, this post will encourage and provide tips for these stressful times.

Maybe your spouse is the DIYer who has all the best intentions, but you are just praying he will be able to finish just one project before he starts another. 

While your DIYer is working on the project, are you stressing about the budget?

 My husband has to have a project. If not, he will sleep. I swear it runs in the family! 

The best part is my husband is fantastic at DIY projects. He’s super talented when it comes to fixing anything in our home. For that, I am often reminded, is a HUGE blessing. One I take for granted many times.

We’ve been fixing our homes and doing our projects since we were together, which will be 11 years in 2019! WHOO HOO! 

As a couple, we have come a long way from the first projects we DIYED together. 

I want to share some tips with you if you are alongside your partner.

Figure Out the Budget Together for the DIY Project

This has to be the first step. Doing projects yourself will save you money if they are done correctly. I’m sure you have personal experience or heard from someone else that their little home project turned out to be a disaster.

You need to figure out your budget together. First, it has to be agreed upon. It will also hold you accountable, if possible, for not going over the budget.

Need free printables to start your budget? Go here.

Plan Together

Remember that if you choose to use a credit card, it is the stress of paying it off afterward. So when you put it on a Credit card, there is more temptation to overspend.

The credit card bill comes the next month, and you may resent the project in the first place. If you must use a credit card, make it a point to accept the fact and know you will put x amount on the card each month.

READ: How we Built our Barn Together Debt Free

Create a vision plan together.

Have your spouse share with you the plan of the project. Ex. First, I’ll do this. That way, you can see the timeline and follow along.

Do Your Share- Contribute

If this is a project where you design and he executes, allow the person to do their job.

Cost is a huge reason we choose to do all our home renovations. Remember that you may not have the extra money to hire someone, but you do have the time. Check out our recent Kitchen Makeover here with a cost breakdown.

Set a Reasonable Timetable For The DIY Projects

So what if it takes you six months to finish something instead of three? What is the rush to have a kitchen or living room done in three months instead of 8?

Maybe it’s just not possible for your spouse to fit in a project during this life season. When it comes to DIY projects, figure out together if it is a need or a want. If it is a need, remember the sacrifices made now will be worth it. It’s part of your journey together. It’s also very much a part of homeownership.

Always pray and ask if the time it will take to do the project is worth it at this point. 

For example, your partner is up for a promotion or busiest time of year. Look at the whole picture and what you both can accomplish in this time frame.

Take a closer look at needs and wants.

Pray over your spouse and this project.

Budget for a Babysitter

If this is a smaller project, it may be worth the idea to pay a babysitter for a couple of days to help get the task finished.

Ask a neighbor or family member to take the kids. Even if your spouse doesn’t want you to help on the project, you also need a break from the kids. You can keep your spouse and any of his crew happy with food!

Be Gentle

As a wife who has done that many times, let me remind you to be gentle to your husband.

Is he the only one working on this DIY project? Is he learning a new skill? So many times, I would assume my husband knew how to do something. I wondered why he couldn’t get the project done faster.

I didn’t realize sometimes it was his first time doing it. He was learning as he went. I was learning patience and humility.

Be thankful. It’s not you; I am tearing down the walls or mudding and installing flooring. Keep encouraging your spouse through the project. Men sometimes need more positive encouragement than women!

One last tip, if you love decorating as I do, be careful with your choice of words on the decorating aspect.

What I mean is that you may not have put new furniture, decor rugs into the budget, etc. So don’t complain about that aspect of it and make your spouse feel less than. They will only hear a complaint and think you don’t appreciate their value. 

Here’s to a new DIY project being completed and to a new understanding of your relationship!