How to Survive a Remodel with Your Spouse

Support Our Farm & Share

Are you married to a DIYer? A man who has to have a project to work on? Perhaps even MULTIPLE projects going on at one time?

You aren’t alone. I am too.  If you are a couple who likes DIY projects and have kids this post will encourage and provide tips for these stressful times.

Maybe your spouse is the DIYER who has all the best intentions but you are just praying he will be able to completely finish just one project before he starts another. 

While your DIYer is working on the project are you stressing about the budget?

 My husband has to have a project. If not he will just sleep. I swear it runs in the family! 

The best part is my husband is amazing at DIY projects. He’s super talented when it comes to fixing anything in our home. For that, I am often reminded is a HUGE blessing. One I take for granted many times.

We’ve been fixing up our homes and doing our own projects since we have been together. Which will be 11 years in 2019! WHOO HOO! 

As a couple we have come a long way from the first projects we DIYED together. 

I want to share with you some tips if you are right alongside your partner.

Figure Out the Budget Together for the DIY Project

This has to be the first step. Doing projects yourself will save you money if they are done correctly. I’m sure you have personal experience or heard from someone else, their little home project turned out to be a disaster.

You need to figure out your budget together. It has to be agreed upon. It will also hold you accountable to not go over the budget if possible.

Need free printables to start your budget? Go here.

Plan Together

Keep in mind if you choose to credit card this the stress afterwards of paying it off.  When you put it on a Credit card there is more temptation to overspend.

The credit card bill comes the next month and you may find yourself resenting the project in the first place. If you must use a credit card, make it a point to accept the fact and know you are going to put x amount on the card each month.

READ: How we Built our Barn Together Debt Free

Create vision plan together.

Have your spouse share with you the plan of the project. Ex. first, I’ll do this. That way you can see the timeline and follow along.

Do Your Share- Contribute

If this is a project where you deisgn and he executes be sure to allow the person to do their job.

A huge reason we choose to do all our own home renovations is cost. Keep in mind you may not have the extra money to hire someone but you do have the time. Check out our recent Kitchen Makeover here with cost breakdown.

Set a Reasonable Timetable For The DIY Projects

So what if it takes you six months to finish something instead of three? What is the rush to have a kitchen or living room done in a matter of three months instead of 8?

Maybe it’s just not possible for your spouse to fit in a project at this season of life. When it comes to DIY projects really figure out together if it is a need or a want. If it is a need remember the sacrafices made now will be worth it. It’s part of your journey together. It’s also very much a part of homeownership.

Always Always pray and ask if the time it is going to take to do the project is worth it at this point of time. 

Example, your partner is up for a promotion or busiest time of year. Look at the whole picture and what you both can accomplish in this time frame.

Take a closer look at needs and wants.

Pray over your spouse and this project.

Budget for a Babysitter

If this is a smaller project it may be worth the idea of paying a babysitter for a couple days to help get the project finished.

Ask a neighbor or family member to take the kids. Even if your spouse doesn’t want you to help on the project you need a break from the kids too. You can keep your spouse and any of his crew happy with food!

Be Gentle

As a wife who has been there done that many times, let me gently remind you, to be gentle to your husband.

Is he the only one working on this DIY project? Is he learning a new skill? Many times I would assume my husband knew how to do something. I wondered why he couldn’t get the project done faster.

I didn’t realize sometimes it was his first time doing it. He was learning as he went. I was learning patience and humility.

Be thankful. It’s not you and I tearing down the walls or mudding, and installing flooring. Keep encouraging your spouse through the project. Men sometimes need more positive encouragement than women!

One last tip, if you love decorating like I do, be careful with your choice of words on the decorating aspect.

What I mean is you may not have put into the budget new furniture, decor rugs etc. Don’t complain about that aspect of it and make your spouse feel less than.  They will only hear a complaint and think you don’t appreciate their value . 

Here’s to a new DIY project being completed and to a new understanding of your relationship!

Support Our Farm & Share