Adulthood. Motherhood. Wifehood.
It all has caused me to shed tears of joy and gratefulness, something I never did 10 years ago.
I used to think tears were only for when you were beyond your limits and hopeless.
When life couldn’t possibly be throwing you another curveball that comes to hit you right in the back of the head.
As I sit here this morning needing to share deals on my coupon blog. I can’t. I wanna just fall to my knees and let the tears that are rolling pour all over.
You see tears this morning are for the continuing of my eyes being so open to the realness of what this life is about.
The relationships with others. The fact of coming together with real human beings.
Oh, how easy it is today to get caught up in our own business. What we need to get done for ourselves.
How annoyed we get when others seem to slow us down.
Yet, we forget how fast this life is gone. We forget that at the end of our journey we won’t be bringing about all our stuff. The cute clothes, the hairstyles, the home decor, anything like that. The stuff won’t come with us.
At the end of our journey, we want to leave more than just a memory of someone remembering how we always looked polished or had a clean home or all the selfies we took and shared on social media.
We all know that there isn’t a time in any of our lives where we are polished without a filter. That filter could simply just be the one available on social media, but many of us filter out the truth. We like to keep the filter of denial on because we don’t want to surface the root of the insecurity.
We are all broken. We are all human beings.
We are all very loved and we forget.
We want to remember to build relationships. To go on and touch the lives of someone else. We don’t need to share our life history at every meeting with every person, we just need to let others know we care.
No matter what.
I sit here with tears and inspiration pouring through my tingling fingertips because last night on the way to my women’s bible study I had a feeling of the spirit telling me to share to encourage, to give hope.
Did I really want to talk about all these gift cards I give away every week?
No, I wasn’t even sure what to say.
Yet in the last couple years, I have learned that letting my fear build up and staying sheltered in my no, hasn’t produced the fruit of the spirit God has asked me to.
So I obeyed and that is the best blessing.
Our bible study ran long and I got home 45 minutes later than normal. I usually announce my winners that night but my head was pounding our kitchen sink exploded and I knew I had to just get to bed.
I also wanted to see if I should “really” post that video.
I felt nervous and my hands shake, heck they’re still nervous as I know more people will watch it. I knew that I had something to share and that I can give all those fears and questions to God.
He will absorb them and I will be set free.
Then I picked my three winners of $25 Bjs gift cards and here is what one of the winners said to me.
“Thank you so much, I am literally sitting here crying tears of joy. I honestly didn’t think my name would get picked. I never win anything and I was just saying to my fiance last night that I wish our luck would change. You have no idea what this means to me. I am so grateful.”
I have gotten many responses similar to this. That praise and excitement go to our Father in heaven. He knows each and every one of us. He knows exactly what we need. You know, not all of us are going to be called to publicly share the gospel. That just isn’t everyone’s calling.
Yet we are all called to share and that is equally just as important as those who can do it publicly.
Saving souls one at a time is spectacular.
So I want you to know that you are so very loved and you matter. I want to encourage you to pray and ask God to show you the way. Ask him to lead you and pray for understanding when he tells you to go this way or that way.
Pray that your eyes and ears would be open to what he has in store for you each and every day. Don’t give up. Your time is coming. It may even be right at this very moment.
Continue to trust and seek and you will find something better then you could imagine.
Go out and love today and enjoy being loved. Take in all the goodness that surrounds you. Pour out in tears to God all the bad. The hurts, the fears the pain from whatever situation has had you down. Let that out, let God take it. Let Him absorb your pain.
Stand up tall and believe in him. Trust him. Trust you and carry on.