Are you tired of the filtered relationships on social media? Are you feeling the ache of building a relationship in today’s world? Discover the tree analogy that changed my relationships and will change yours.
I remember that day. My head was so heavy. In my heart, I wanted to lift it up. I so wanted to see the beauty that was surrounding me. I couldn’t.
Fear, shame, guilt pushed it down. I didn’t deserve to lift it up.
I was locked down in a wave of disaster.
I wondered if I could ever take a step and be able to see someone there waiting for me. I wondered if someone would ever think I was good enough.
I was worthy of someone else’s love.
I wondered. I hoped. I didn’t act.
Instead, I took one slow step forward with my head down.
There was a great reminder for me in a devotion I read “We are not happy here because we are not at home here.”
We aren’t going to be 100% happy here on earth because we are not home.
We are like foreigners and strangers in this world. 1 Peter 2:11
In the midst of sadness you want nothing more then a person you can lean on. I sift through this life going through cycles and seasons of pure joy and grief, I started to question my relationships with people.
I wondered if I would ever find that best friend I have- but lives hundreds of mile away.
The bible shares with us how important connections with people are.
I got angry by my generation turning to social media as a new standard of judging of lives. I was sick of the filtering an ordinary life.
I didn’t understand why as a mom, a woman in her thirties it was so hard to make new friends. I didn’t understand why if I hung out with someone a few times, there was no other connection made.
I wanted to keep up with texting and giving a quick “Hows everything going?’ And would get no response in return.
Make it a point right now if you say to someone you are going to get together, pick a date then and there. Things get crazy and many of us have the best intentions we need to take the time right then to schedule a get together.
So pick a date right then and there.
I kept experiencing let down. I questioned and over analyzed was it me? I decided that I didn’t need to give out to people who didn’t give anything back. I learned to have grace with others, for they may be in such a busy season they can’t give anymore.
I discovered Marco Polo and it has made a huge difference in my life. My best friend and I chat using the free app several times every day. I talk with my brothers, parents, uncle, and my grandma almost daily through this app. If you are struggling to stay in touch with others check it out.
With all those crazy emotions I discovered in a book an analogy that made me realize I had it all wrong. I had unrealistic expectations. What I needed to focus on wasn’t about me, it was about others and just being there for them when they need it.
Tyler Perry’s Tree Analogy.
He envisions a tree when he thinks about different souls who come into his life. I now do too.
He says anyone who comes into his life is subjected to his “Tree of Life” test.
Here’s the breakdown of it:
Leaf People– People who are in your life only for a season. Can’t really depend on them or count on them because they have weaknesses of their own and only able to offer shade. Since they are like leaves they take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a fierce wind blows or a storm they’re out.
Branch People– These people are stronger then leaf people, but they need care. They could stick around for more than one season but when a storm comes they usually break apart and leave. You end up losing them. Their strength must be tested. Their strength is stronger based on how long they have been with you on this journey of life. Newer branches are weaker and may break easier in a storm.
Root People- Think of these people like the root of a tree. These are the special ones in your life. They are harder to find because they aren’t out there looking to be found. They do their amazing work underground. They are always there to provide help and support. They encourage you and lift you up fill your entire being with nourishment. When you thrive they are happy. You’ve found support for your soul.
“A tree may have many branches and many leaves, and only a few roots, yet it is the roots that are strong, resilient and powerful.”- Tyler Perry
Who is the root person in your life?
After I read this analogy I realized I was looking at all these different relationships in my life wrong. People can’t help it if they are a leaf or a branch. I knew the power of a root person. I knew immediately I was blessed to have more than one root person in my life.
I wondered what was I to others in my life? I know at times in other people’s lives I haven’t been their root.
The good news is this is an analogy. We are humans. If you found you may be one of the leaf people and you want to change that, you can.
I am living out my life with a conscious decision to make a connection with the people God has placed in my life. Whether it’s for just an encounter at the grocery store or developing a relationship.
Our connection with other humans is crucial to our own livelihood. As Christians, we are to love and be loved. We are to be a support system for those who need us.
With God, you can reach higher. You can be shaped into the exact person he created you to be. We weren’t made to live here on earth permanently.
This is not our home.
Dwell in his ever-loving presence. Seek and be found.
If you can think of root people immediately in your life, let them know how much you care about them. The appreciation you have for their impact in your life. Let them know they are holding up your soul.
And today let us go out and change the world, by holding up others, one soul at a time.
Sunday 21st of January 2018
I've lost 2 of my root people. #1 Mom in law's memorial Mass was yesterday, and our aunt, JoAnn's funeral is tomorrow. The feeling is like uprooted....
Wednesday 24th of January 2018
Patty I am so sorry to hear about your root people. Hold on to the strength they taught you to have and the love they had for you. Will be praying for comfort at this time for you and your family.