When you live in a 1850s farmhouse and have land, animals, and kids something ALWAYS seems to come up. A yellow jacket hive here, a kid scrapes her knee, your dog chasing a cat across the neighborhood, your chickens in your neighbor’s yard, a fox checking out your flock, apples to be picked, the list goes on and on.
There is always something that needs to be done out here on the farm. It creates instant teamwork. You see you can’t do these things alone. Well sure you can, but you will become exhausted.
You can’t blame these occurrences on anything. They happen. It’s life.
Stop Trying to Do It All
As women, we want to do it all. I know I struggle with wanting to do it all. Many of us are too afraid to ask for help. Raising young kids has been the most challenging thing I have done in my life and it will never stop being challenging. Not having any family around to just pop in and take the kids was something I had to mourn and take that bitter ball and constantly throw it out the door.
I know. It’s hard. There are good days and more hard days. You matter in it all. You are shaping their little hearts and your work does NOT go unnoticed. The Lord will you bless you. He wants to bless you.
Sweet on the Outside Inside a Ragging Storm
But in those moments of exhaustion and need help, some of us may fall into this trap. Where you are the sweetest person on the outside but inside you are a raging storm.
You are creating a drama that is dangerous. For you and those around you. I read this great scenario that touches on this very subject.
“Sandy is the only child of an alcoholic mother, Dolores. One day Dolores staggers onto Sandy’s foot, heedlessly causing pain because that’s what persecutors do. Sandy says, “You’re stepping on my foot!” Now Dolores, racked with guilt, gin, and self-loathing, turns into the victim. ” I didn’t mean to!” she sobs. ‘Can’t you see I’m trying?” Then Sandy comes to the rescue: I’m sorry, Mommy! How can I make you feel better?” Suddenly, Dolores is off the hook, and Sandy’s convinced that if she can do enough to please her mother, she’ll be loved again. They keep this up for years.”- Martha Beck
This story may strike a chord with you. For me personally, it did two different ways. One of someone I know in that situation and one for my own personal parenting. Feeling when I can get angry over something so silly and having my youngest ask “Are you happy now Mommy?”
The most humbling thing about parenting for me has been to have two kids. It was like I was in a cloud with the first but with the second you realize you are just trying your best each and every day. You are asking the Lord for his mercy and guidance because they grow and change so quickly before you feel you mastered that season.
Self-sacrificing resentment is hard for us moms. Our lives completely change when we feel we are living to keep our kids alive.
You can not let guilt cover you for your feelings at this time. You can stop this cycle.
Here are 6 tips to get you through:
- Find a quiet place to gather your thoughts.
- Think of when you notice those feelings of self-sacrificing resentment and write down your feelings.
- Read them out loud. Words are powerful when you read them out loud.
- Ask yourself what are you expecting from those around you?
- Do you have resentment for those people?
- Have you told them any of your needs or feelings?
Then you need to dig into the Word of God. Your spirit is longing for connection. You need to get your armor on and stop those fiery arrows before they hit you. We live in a spiritual battle. The enemy’s sole purpose is to bring you down. We need to fight back strategically to stop his attacks.
Once you realize where your emotions are coming from. Pray out loud. Ask the Lord for help in the areas you feel like you are struggling.
You can NOT trust in feelings.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:9
It’s time to make a commitment to truth. Go beyond just a devotion or reading this blog post.
Verify The Truth
Is it true that your husband never helps out around the house?
Is it true you don’t have anyone to watch the kids?
Is it true that you have to have a clean house today?
Is it true that your best friend is mad at you?
Recognize your feelings and emotions and line it up with the truth. When you are still struggling to understand the truth of your emotions you must turn to the bible. And not just read it soak it in.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
Keep an eye on your areas of greatest strength and weakness because those are the areas the enemy is going to attack. Stand firm in your faith and the truth that God has already won the battle. We just need to choose him.
“With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, and pray on my behalf..- Ephesians 6:18-19
You got this friend. Go and stomp down those lies the enemy is feeding you. You are here for a reason. You were created with a purpose.
Here are five places to start in the bible to stop out those emotions and make decisions based on truth.
- Psalm 106:13-15
Ephesians 4:14, 18-19
Numbers 20:7-8, 11-12
*Photo Credit goes to Taylor Handy Photography
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