Emotional spending. We all do it more than we even realize. We do it when we are happy, upset, stressed, or maybe even scared. It becomes a habit we quickly want to stop. But, do we really need to stop a habit that we enjoy? What if this habit doesn’t cause any harm?
What if this habit buries our debt deeper and deeper. You can stop emotional spending with the tips I share below. I, too, struggle with emotional spending. Yet, today I have learned to control it.
LET THE STORY BEGIN
Here we are, another week. We are not spending any money on anything extra. Sometimes that is hard to justify.
When you are on a spending freeze, you are thinking about every purchase. You are questioning everything you buy and all that crosses your mind to buy.
This week I struggled with Date Night. I wanted to spend it based on my feelings.
The girls spent the night at their grandparents Friday evening. We had alone time for the first time in 3 weeks! Yet we were both exhausted because we just moved.
It was really tempting to spit out my thoughts. “Ohhh I don’t feel like cooking. Can’t I just get a day off from cooking? Let’s go out to eat.”
All I had to do to justify my feelings was scroll through Facebook or Instagram and see my “friends” who aren’t really friends still make me feel less than. For example, see how they spend money and feel that I should spend money too.
But I knew I didn’t have money to spend. So, ouch, my pain digs deeper.
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I held all those emotions in. It would cause damage if they left. Sometimes just sharing those with someone else makes them happen. The temptation becomes stronger once you speak. I knew that I could put that money towards our groceries next week.
I could have let my feelings make a bad purchase. We didn’t need to spend $40+ on dinner. Sure, I could justify that we deserved it. Sure, I could pay $20 for a fast food joint, but why when I am staring at a cupboard with food and a fridge with something in it too. It wasn’t like our cupboards were bare.
My soul was the only thing empty after thinking I could justify my feelings based on social media “friends.”
The Question that Saved Me
Did we NEED it? If you stop and verify your emotions with truth, you can decide between wants and needs. It takes time, and it won’t be easy, but you will know that your needs come first.
So we ate leftovers. I didn’t have to cook, and we were both happy. Truly we were exhausted. We got to spend time at home together, enjoying it for the first time without the girls.
Emotions bring about many purchases in our life. Justifying those feelings result in things we may not be able to afford. Like Dave Ramsey says “We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.”
Be careful with your emotions. Could you keep them in check? Recognize if something you are buying is an emotional purchase or a rational purchase. What are your buying motives?
Stress has strained my relationship with my husband in the past couple of months. Yet, we have strengthened our relationship with God. Like my dad says,” To grow closer to your spouse you need to grow closer to the Lord.”
Even though we haven’t sold our house yet and just dropped the price, the stress is starting to drift. Our faith is being made stronger as well as our marriage. So I can take a deep relaxing breath looking back and saying we made it through that. It wasn’t pretty, but it came with meaning. We learn,n we grow, we love.
Today I challenge you if you are doing a spending freeze to guard your emotions regarding purchases. Even if it is food for your family, we can fall into the trap of justifying buying all prepackaged convenience food and spending more money than if we just set aside an hour to make a meal menu and serve our family healthier food.
Here are 5 Tips To Empower YOU Today To Stop Your Emotional Spending
- Write Down Your Financial Goals and hang up in your kitchen. If you know what you are saving money for and are reminded of that each day you can hold on to that when temptation arises.
- Avoid leisurely shopping. Go to each store with a list and a purpose.
- Shop Alone. If your spouse, kids, friends, parents shop with you and tend to bring about emotions for items to buy, shop alone. This won’t have to be forever, just until you have the strength to say, No.
- Always ask is this a need or a want?! Don’t let your mind go into justification mode.
- Pray. Pray for wisdom for your finances. Pray for strength to fight temptation with spending. Ask your friends, family, and church family to pray with you.
I got groceries again for those curious as to what we bought this week, and then we spent money on Dog Food, my daughter’s socks, and gas. So next week I will need Toilet Paper for sure!
Not pictured is a 55 lb. bag of Purina Dog Chow for $21.49 from BJ’s club!
Frozen 5 pack socks $4.49 from Walmart. I spent $20 on a tank of gas at Tops- I had $0.40/ off a gallon.
Total Spent This Week $71.98- includes tax.
*UPDATE: This post was written in April 2016. Just a little over a year, I can NOT believe how much the Lord has blessed our obedience during this time of our life with finances.
We are now on a plan to be mortgage-free in 7 years! All thanks to blogging, hard work, and praying over our finances, and recognizing wants verse needs. If you are in a struggling time with finances, I hear ya. I know what’s it like. I know the stress that it causes but know that God has a plan for you. He knows your deepest desire. You need to listen. You need to trust. And once you do, you’ll be sharing your story just like I am today.
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Andrea Stunz
I love how purposeful you are being! Our feelings trip us up in so many areas of our lives. Good job on this!! And thanks for sharing. I am out of the season of raising littles and having to budget every penny (thankful!) but I remember what it’s like. I will be sharing this with my daughter. I know she will find this helpful. Keep up the good work!
P.S. I found you through the Christian Women Blogger group.
Tasia
Thanks for stopping by today Andrea! I hope your daughter finds it helpful! I keep that in mind that this is a season of raising children and it will pass before I know it I will be watching my kids raise theirs!
Bonnie Lyn Smith
Wow, I truly always find this inspiring, and I feel appropriately convicted in a few areas that need change. Such a great line: “I didn’t let them leave because sometimes just sharing those with someone else makes them happen. The temptation becomes stronger once you speak. ” Yes! I want to eat out sometimes just to escape meal making. Great post!
Tasia
Glad it spoke to you Bonnie! An escape of meal planning it is!
Gina B
Since we switched our kids to eating all organic and allergen free AND I got on the free kindle book email list, my emotional spending has gone WAY down. We need every penny. But I will tell you that books are still hard not to buy. I sold back an old Kindle to Amazon and spent all $33 on books. (That Kindle only cost me $9 so I’m ahead of the game, LOL!)
Tasia
Gina I love that about selling back the Kindle! Glad to hear your emotional spending has decreased. It’s awesome how many free downloads for books you can get now! I love that!
Jordan Fortenboher
Wow….thank you for sharing these tips! This is so convicting for me. I do the exact same thing when it comes to cooking/eating out. I feel like if I just mention it, I can justify eating out again. The truth is I’m really just being selfish! Thanks for this post! I need to try implementing some of these ASAP!
Tasia
Yep, and it’s hard when you cook all meals all the time! We do need a break but it doesn’t mean it has to be an overpriced meal. Your are right it really comes down to our selfish desires! Glad you enjoyed and hope the tips help!
Brittany
My biggest bad habbit with soending is baby girl clothes. After 2 boys i want to buy everything when its pink. Im working on it.
Tasia
Yes that can be hard. You can always hit the second hand stores first! For us with having a girl as the first grandchild on both sides she got a ton of clothes. It helps when I keep all her clothes hung up or in a drawer not tucked away so I can see just how much she really does have and does not need. Thanks for stopping by Brittany!
Sarah
I love the first suggestion of keeping goals posted in the kitchen! I totally understand the sock ordeal. My kids hate them:)
Tasia
Seriously, what’s up with the sock thing?! Its going to be 10 degrees today, she is going to have to wear those socks!
Christine
I am an emotional spender. Basically when I am down and out I will buy something to help me feel better and it is usually food. It is a bad habit. I like your tips and just came across your post. I think it will be very helpful for me to start reading the beginning of your series. Thanks.
Tasia
I know we all have something mine is home decor. I still have boxes now because of all my ” this is a great deal”. All habits can be stopped that is the praise! I hope you will read the series from the beginning! Thanks for stopping by Christine!
Susan Gaddis
Great post to encourage and instruct. We’ve been on a really tight budget this last year, so I’ve just quit shopping unless absolutely necessary. Mainly just groceries. Made our Christmas gifts and did a simple tea party for my granddaughters for Valentine’s Day this last week. Avoiding the stores, especially during holidays, has worked great.
Tasia
Yes I think for me now this will be easier because we live about 15 minutes from a store, before I lived 30 seconds from all the stores in a car! Just a few minutes walking!!
Jennie Goutet
I relate to the emotional spending, and I admire you for not even allowing the temptation to leave your lips! These are good tips here, and I’ll pin it for someone else to benefit from the wisdom.
Tasia
Thanks Jennie!
Cate
We just bought a new house the beginning of December, so I know the stress it brings on. We made it through, but my husband and I were both tested. So now that the holidays and everything are over we are going on a spending freeze. Time to save, and pay the always there bills!
Tasia
Hi Cate! Congrats on the new house, as stressful as it is, it’s also so exciting and fun. A spending freeze is another stressful but yet fun thing. I hope you and your husband only grow closer as you start it. 🙂