Homemaker. It sounds much better than Stay at home mom right?! I saw my mom write the word “Homemaker” on an application as a teenager and I felt shocked and proud. Staying home has an actual name I thought?! Homemaker.
At least it’s how my thirteen year old self perceived it. Now as a homemaker myself we perceive the title different.
Homemaking can make you go crazy. Today let me share tips to help you become a highly effective modern homemaker.
When you become a mother not everything comes as natural and easy as we hope. That’s the way of life right? What we can do as homemakers it fine tune the skills and gifts we already have.
Before we get into the actual checklist tasks, hear me on this one.
There is no perfect modern homemaker and you won’t achieve perfection. There is value in letting go of perfection daily. When you do you will walk into your home after grocery shopping and the huge pile of dog hair won’t phase you.
Having a clean home 24-7 should not be where you look for your self-worth.
Second let go of comparison. It’s one thing to search the internet for tips on homemaking, like how you found this article.
But today we swipe and click from one article to the next fast. And we absorb little bits from each one. Those little bits from all over can leave us feeling overwhelmed and not good enough. Don’t compare to what others are doing. Take the facts, and see what applies to your families situation.
Look at this stat from The Bureau of Labor in 2016- 61.1 percent had both parents employed. It doesn’t tell us if the rest are struggling financially and looking for work.
You can no longer compare yourself to your grandmother or great grandmother. They may have been amazing homemakers. With our culture today you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
TAKE MODERN SHORTCUTS
Times are changing. We can have our groceries now delivered within hours. Remember when two day shipping was mind blowing? Now one day is the jam and soon drones will be sending us our hearts content in a matter of time.
The number one way to be a highly effective homemaker is to be okay with taking the new modern shortcuts.
START BY FIGURING OUT YOUR FAMILY MISSION STATEMENT
Hear me out on this. If you worked at a company that was very goal driven you are rolling your eyes and thinking, “That’s why I left that world.” As a modern homemaker you need to know where you’re going.
We have to think about what we value as a family. What does your families moral compass look like? For example, when our girls were younger I read about picking a family statement to help toddlers express kindness.
My greatest cheese moment as a parent was taking this advice to heart. “We’re the Boland’s and We’re Kind!” That was our tagline. I know when I first read doing something like this I was rolling my eyes.
Yet it didn’t leave my heart and I knew God was telling me to give it a shot. After a few times of saying it, this stuck with the kids. When they are three years old they love it!
Even now with the girls being six and eight when things are getting rowdy I’ll bring up the cheesiness. Cheesy+kids= win!
Ask yourself: What kind of family do we want to be? Understand as the modern homemaker you are able to steer this and lead it.
When you have one thing to focus on like that, it helps drive all other decisions and actions.
Here are some more examples of Family Mission Statements.
“A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about — what it is you really want to do and be — and the principles you choose to govern your family life.”-Stephen Covey
“The mission of our family is to create a nurturing place of faith, order, truth, love, happiness, and relaxation, and to provide opportunity for each individual to become responsibly independent, and effectively interdependent, in order to serve worthy purposes in society.”https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/02/want-to-give-your-family-value-and-purpose-write-a-mission-statement/273491/
Our Family Respects, Supports, Loves, and Cares for one another, because we cherish living in a home filled with love, laughter and happiness.https://www.happinessishomemade.net/leader-in-me-at-home-how-to-create-a-family-mission-statement/
If you are someone who loves organization and free printables go here and get free printables to get your family mission statement started.
GET A ROUTINE INSTEAD OF A SCHEDULE
It’s funny how in motherhood moments after our baby is born we learn the baby’s schedule. When they need to eat, sleep and poop. As a modern homemaker we take a breath when we have control.
A schedule is harder to control with toddlers. There will be a day your toddler will refuse to nap at the scheduled time. Or they will fall asleep right at the dinner table. It happens.
It is then you must shift to a routine. Having a routine allows a homemaker to become adaptable. If you have kids this is a trait you don’t get to choose. Fighting all the changes that take place in raising kids makes the job harder.
If you are home and your husband works overtime the routine can still be set but the schedule will change. Allowing yourself room for flexibility is a game changer.
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I’ve Learned To Let Go
My peace of mind as a homemaker starts with a meal menu. Having a week worth of meals planned out gives flexibility. Meaning if the kids are outside having the time of their life and want to wait an extra half hour I can do that. I can adapt to the meals I have prepped or learn to keep the oven on a little longer.
In the past as an early homemaker I would have been very annoyed. I wanted my husband to come home from work and play with the kids outside. He would do that. It was great. For me, I would continue to get upset if I said dinner is at 5 p.m. and they were still out playing at get this 5:10!
I’ve come to learn how to let go and take in moments of appreciation. I would tell myself I am mad because I wanted my family to eat my dinner at the perfect temperature. Food wasn’t good cold.
The truth is, the kids don’t notice if I don’t say anything. In that aspect we are in complete control.
What the kids do notice is when mom is feeling tense and that’s not a way I want to start our family dinners.
If you are in the thick sea of babies and toddlers hang in there Momma, glory days are ahead. The sweet spot before they hit the teenager years and are out of the toddler years is coming, and soon.
Giving young children chores can be a chore in itself. If you feel like they are too young this is the time to get your spouse involved. Remind them as the kids grow they will have less chores!
My husband and I had a HUGE issue when I decided to stay home with the girls. He expected me to do EVERYTHING in the house.
He said his chores were to mow the lawn and do any house maintenance. That was all fine and dandy until it wasn’t. I was nursing one baby while chasing a two year old.
It wasn’t happening. We had to have the talk. And it took us months to get it right. Months to get over what the other person was expecting.
You have to talk and help out. Ladies 15 years and my husband is finally doing dishes on a regular basis. On his own!
I’ve also continued to stay home when both of my kids were in school all day!
It takes time, but it can happen. Keep praying and keep talking.
The tasks you can’t get to or stress you out too much share it with your partner. Let them know why you can’t do something and watch them agree to do it for you.
If you say I hate doing dishes. They may shrug it off. Open up and be honest.
GET THE BUDGET RIGHT
For me this is one of the most influential pieces you can get started right. As a homemaker you can get involved in a budget. Every household should have a budget. You need to know where every dollar is going. Every dollar coming in.
If you can get the financial stress evaporated, everything else will seem minimal.
You can’t ignore your finances as much as you may hate to budget.
Guidelines don’t restrict you from spending, it gives you freedom to spend without guilt.
For more of my budgeting/financing articles go here.
FIND YOUR OUTLET
Momma, you can’t do it all and you need to make time for yourself. It seems impossible when your kids are so young but it needs to happen. It’s best to start practicing it right away so it’s easier as they are older.
Find where your creative outlet is and go for it. What makes you feel peaceful? Maybe it’s having a quiet place to read a novel. Maybe it’s out to dinner with friends. My creative outlet turned into a money maker! You never know what is in store or what you are being prepared for.
It doesn’t matter what it is as long as your soul feels refreshed after. You need to recharge and it needs to happen more than you are doing it.
Stop the mommy guilt. If you are here reading this right now, you are not a mom who takes “too much me time.” You’re not one of those and you won’t be. You know how to love. You understand what real love is. How? Because you are here right now, you were out there searching for some relief, help, answers because you care.
Know where ever you are right now in your homemaking path, you need to take care of yourself. If you need to grocery shop alone, or get your hair done but there is still a pile of dishes, laundry, dog hair in every possible corner of your home, – STILL GO!
All that stuff will be there in the next hour after you clean it anyways. It’s the season of life you are in. It will pass of course but the thing you always need to do in every season is get your soul refreshed.