Homemaker. It sounds much better than Stay a home mom, right?! I saw my mom write “Homemaker” on an application as a teenager, and I felt shocked and proud. Staying home has an actual name, I thought?! Homemaker.
At least it’s how my thirteen-year-old self perceived it. Now, as a homemaker myself, I view the title differently.
Homemaking can make you go crazy. So, let me share tips to help you become a highly effective modern homemaker.
When you become a mother, not everything comes as naturally and quickly as we hope. But that’s the way of life. As homemakers, we can fine-tune the skills and gifts we already have.
Before we get into the checklist tasks, hear me on this one.
There is no perfect modern homemaker, and you won’t achieve perfection. However, there is value in letting go of the model daily. When you do, you will walk into your home after grocery shopping, and the massive pile of dog hair won’t phase you.
Having a clean home 24-7 should not be where you look for your self-worth.
Second, let go of comparison. It’s one thing to search the internet for tips on homemaking, like how you found this article.
But today, we quickly swipe and click from one article to the next. And we absorb little bits from each one. Those little bits from all over can leave us feeling overwhelmed and not good enough. Don’t compare to what others are doing. Take the facts, and see what applies to your family’s situation.
Look at this stat from The Bureau of Labor in 2016- 61.1 percent had both parents employed. But unfortunately, it doesn’t tell us if the rest are struggling financially and looking for work.
You can no longer compare yourself to your grandmother or great-grandmother. They may have been excellent homemakers. But, with our culture today, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
Look at the options at our grocery stores. It’s overwhelming. If we cut the time, we can buy premade meals ready to go or rotisserie chickens for $4.99! Thanks, BJs and Costco!
TAKE MODERN SHORTCUTS
Times are changing. We can have our groceries now delivered within hours. Remember when two-day shipping was mind-blowing? Now one day is the jam, and soon drones will send us our heart’s content in a matter of time.
One way to be a highly effective homemaker is to be okay with taking the new modern shortcuts.
START BY FIGURING OUT YOUR FAMILY MISSION STATEMENT
Hear me out on this. If you worked at a very goal-driven company, you are rolling your eyes and thinking, “That’s why I left that world. But, as a modern homemaker, you need to know where you’re going.
We have to think about what we value as a family. What does your family’s moral compass look like? For example, when our girls were younger, I read about picking a family statement to help toddlers express kindness.
My most significant cheese moment as a parent was taking this advice to heart. “We’re the Boland’s, and We’re Kind!” That was our tagline. I was rolling my eyes when I first read doing something like this.
Yet it didn’t leave my heart, and I knew God was telling me to give it a shot. After a few times of saying it, this stuck with the kids. When they are three years old, they love it!
Even now, with the girls being six and eight, I’ll bring up the cheesiness when things are getting rowdy. Cheesy+kids= win!
Ask yourself: What kind of family do we want to be? Then, understand, as the modern homemaker, you can steer this and lead it.
Check out the article: 3 Ways to Show Kids Love When Stuck at Home
Having one thing to focus on like that helps drive all other decisions and actions.
Here are some more examples of Family Mission Statements.
“A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about — what it is you really want to do and be — and the principles you choose to govern your family life.”-Stephen Covey
“The mission of our family is to create a nurturing place of faith, order, truth, love, happiness, and relaxation, and to provide opportunity for each individual to become responsibly independent, and effectively interdependent, in order to serve worthy purposes in society.”https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/02/want-to-give-your-family-value-and-purpose-write-a-mission-statement/273491/
Our Family Respects, Supports, Loves, and Cares for one another, because we cherish living in a home filled with love, laughter and happiness.https://www.happinessishomemade.net/leader-in-me-at-home-how-to-create-a-family-mission-statement/
If you are someone who loves organization and free printables, go here and get free printables to get your family mission statement started.
GET A ROUTINE INSTEAD OF A SCHEDULE
It’s funny how in motherhood, moments after our baby is born; we learn the baby’s schedule. When they need to eat, sleep and poop. As modern homemakers, we take a breath when we have control.
A schedule is harder to control with toddlers. There will be a day your toddler will refuse to nap at the scheduled time. Or they will fall asleep right at the dinner table. It happens.
It is then you must shift to a routine. Having a routine allows a homemaker to become adaptable. If you have kids, this is a trait you don’t get to choose. Fighting all the changes in raising kids makes the job harder.
If you are home and your husband works overtime, you can still set the routine, but the schedule will change. Allowing yourself room for flexibility is a game-changer.
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- Staying Organized at Tax Time (Or Any Time)
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- 6 Affordable Ways to Transform Your Backyard into an Outdoor Oasis
- Cheap Garden Landscaping Plants
- Small Front Porch Ideas on a Budget
I’ve Learned To Let Go
My peace of mind as a homemaker starts with a meal menu. Having a week’s worth of meals planned out gives flexibility. If the kids have the time of their life outside and want to wait an extra half hour, I can do that. I can adapt to the meals I have prepped or learn to keep the oven on a little longer.
In the past, as an early homemaker, I would have been very annoyed. I wanted my husband to come home from work and play with the kids outside. He would do that. It was great. I would continue to get upset if I said dinner is at 5 p.m., and they were still out playing at getting this 5:10!
I’ve learned how to let go and take in moments of appreciation. I would tell myself I was mad because I wanted my family to eat my dinner at the perfect temperature. Unfortunately, the food wasn’t good cold.
The truth is, the kids don’t notice if I don’t say anything. So in that aspect, we are in complete control.
What the kids do notice is when mom is feeling tense, and that’s not a way I want to start our family dinners.
READ OR PIN FOR LATER: How to Set Smart Goals & Crush Them
If you are in the thick sea of babies and toddlers, hang in there, Momma; glory days are ahead. The sweet spot before they hit the teenager years and are out of the toddler years is coming soon.
Giving young children chores can be a chore in itself. But, if you feel like they are too young, this is the time to get your spouse involved. Remind them as the kids grow, they will have more minor chores!
My husband and I had a HUGE issue when I decided to stay home with the girls. He expected me to do EVERYTHING in the house.
He said his chores were mowing the lawn and doing house maintenance. That was all fine and dandy until it wasn’t. I was nursing one baby while chasing a two-year-old.
It wasn’t happening. We had to talk. And it took us months to get it right. Months to get over what the other person was expecting.
You have to talk and help out. Ladies, 15 years and my husband is finally doing dishes regularly. On his own!
I’ve also stayed home when my kids were in school all day!
It takes time, but it can happen. So keep praying and keep talking.
Share the tasks you can’t get to or stress you out too much with your partner. Let them know why you can’t do something and watch them agree to do it for you.
If you say, I hate doing dishes. They may shrug it off. Open up and be honest.
GET THE BUDGET RIGHT
This is one of the most influential pieces you can get started with the right. As a homemaker, you can get involved in a budget. Every household should have a budget. You need to know where every dollar is going. Every dollar is coming in.
If you can evaporate the financial stress, everything else will seem minimal.
You can’t ignore your finances as much as you may hate to budget.
Guidelines don’t restrict you from spending, giving you the freedom to spend without guilt.
If you have previously tried a budget and it doesn’t work, read this. I bet you’re doing one of the significant no-nos in it.
For more of my budgeting/financing articles, go here.
FIND YOUR OUTLET
Momma, you can’t do it all and must make time for yourself. It seems impossible when your kids are so young, but it needs to happen. It’s best to start practicing it immediately, so it’s easier as they age.
Find where your creative outlet is and go for it. What makes you feel peaceful? Maybe it has a quiet place to read a novel. Perhaps it’s out to dinner with friends. My creative outlet turned into a money maker! You never know what is in store or what you are being prepared for.
It doesn’t matter what it is as long as your soul feels refreshed after. You need to recharge, which needs to happen more than you do.
Stop the mommy guilt. If you are here reading this right now, you are not a mom who takes “too much me time.” You’re not one of those, and you won’t be. You know how to love. You understand what real love is. How? Because you are here right now, you were out there searching for some relief, help, and answers because you care.
Know where you are in your homemaking path; you need to take care of yourself. If you need to grocery shop alone or get your hair done, but there is still a pile of dishes, laundry, and dog hair in every possible corner of your home, – STILL GO!
After you clean it, all that stuff will be there in the next hour. It’s the season of life you are in. It will pass, of course, but you always need to get your soul refreshed every season.